Astro Bug

SAN FRANCISCO - AstroBug -- Family estrangement, once considered rare or taboo, is now a growing reality for millions of Americans. Recent studies show that 27% of U.S. adults are estranged from at least one family member, and a 2024 Harris Poll reveals that 35% have no contact with someone in their immediate family — such as a parent, sibling, or adult child.

"Estrangement refers to the emotional or physical distancing between individuals who were once close, most commonly within families. It results from a breakdown in communication, trust, or connection, often due to unresolved conflict, betrayal, abuse, or mismatched values and boundaries. It may be temporary or permanent and can be initiated by either party," says San Francisco psychotherapist Michael Travis Halyard, LPCC, LMFT.

Halyard notes a growing correlation between the rise in estrangement and the increasing prevalence of narcissistic traits in the general population. "Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder are statistically more likely to initiate estrangements," he explains. "They often devalue loved ones to the point where they see no inherent worth in the relationship. Viewing themselves as superior to others, they can be strikingly cruel and callous. Their lack of empathy plays a central role in their capacity to cut people off without remorse."

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Halyard specializes in working with individuals navigating the emotional fallout of estrangement, especially in the context of narcissism and emotional abuse. "In nearly all the estrangement cases I see, narcissism plays a central role," he says. "Sometimes it's the narcissist who discards others. Other times, it's the survivor choosing to distance themselves from the narcissist to preserve their mental and emotional health."

"Narcissists also frequently scapegoat family members, blaming them for relationship problems while avoiding accountability." Halyard adds that not all estrangements are narcissistically driven. "Some families split over political, religious, or value-based differences," Halyard notes.

To support people coping with estrangement, Halyard offers psychotherapy for clients in California and facilitates The Estrangement Project USA, a private Facebook support group where people can safely share experiences, ask questions, and find solidarity. "Community is critical," he emphasizes. "You are not alone. There are others walking the same path — together, healing becomes more possible."

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Join the community: facebook.com/groups/estrangementproject

Halyard's website — www.sanfrancisco-psychotherapy.com — also features a comprehensive Estrangement Resource Section — sanfrancisco-psychotherapy.com/estrangement — covering topics such as parental alienation, ghosting, boundary-setting, and navigating the grief of disconnection.

"I want people to understand that healing doesn't require the other person's participation," Halyard says. "It requires truth, clarity, and compassionate support. You can grieve and grow at the same time."